Real Men

For those who know me, you know that I find people very fascinating…I can sit for hours gazing at people…I also love talking to people, to hear what they have to say and to share what I have in mind, though not many do listen to what I have to say…Maybe because I am too much a perfectionist, in my thoughts mostly…I have so often heard my mum say to me “Do not tell people that you are my daughter!” as I can easily go out with my creasy clothes and my oily hair, without the slightest care in the world…So as I said, perfectionist in my thoughts, predominantly…And these thoughts make me think more than requisite in most instances...

 

Many a time, I have heard men say: ‘I am a real man” Are you?! First of all, who says that? And what are you trying to prove? Are you trying to prove you are better off than other men? Are you an avatar of God?!

 

Even Rama, the 7^thincarnation of God; depicted as the ‘perfect man’ had failed in one way or the other… For those who do not know the whole story, he misjudged Sita, his wife who accompanied him and stayed with him for 14 straight years in the forest…He questioned her character by asking her to give a test to the God of fire, after she was kidnapped by Raavana…If you are such a real man, you would not discredit yourself by engaging in character assassination to the one you tied the knot with and who has proved herself time and again…

 

If you were to ask me, maybe Raavana, Rama’s nemesis was more a real man than the latter…Raavana did abduct Sita; as a vindictive act towards his sister who was humiliated through both Rama’s and his brother Lakshmana’s rejection when she approached one after the other as she was smitten by their good looks; but never once did he violate Sita physically though she was his prisoner for around a year…

 

Better Raavana who succeeded to respect Sita for the woman she was, though a stranger rather than Rama who disrespected the wife who has proved faithful during all those years…So who is the real man here? You tell me..

 

I don’t  know about you but I would prefer to be with a guy who is honest and bold enough to realize the mistakes he did and tell you about it rather than being with a guy who thinks he is superior and only knows how to blow his own trumpet…Come on man! If you were that good, let others count your stripes! Why are you ruining the surprise?!

 

Either way, all humans make mistakes…To err is human…Is that not what we say?! But making mistakes is one thing and acknowledging them is a whole different thing…

 

I heard guys say they are real men, just because they have been faithful, they do not have drinking issues and they do not gamble…Is that the definition of a real man?! I beg to differ…

 

In my humble opinion, no one can be termed as a real man; or rather the qualities of a real man differ from person to person…It is the same as beauty…Characteristics of a real man lies in the eyes of the beholder…For me, it could be humility combined with a golden heart filled with empathy…Those would be quintessential…There’s nothing like arrogance to kill the vibes…but some women might like that…They might love it that their men talk to no one except from them only…So it depends…

 

And some women love it when their men are being disrespectful towards other women…It probably sounds music to your ears hearing your man call another woman ‘The Bitch’…Maybe you are deluded, thinking that your man have eyes for you only just because he said that…Grow up Woman! Have you not heard of the sisterhood code?! Aren’t women supposed to have each other’s backs, no matter what?!

 

And you foolish man, do you seriously have only one word in your vocabulary to describe women?! If she stands up for herself, she is empowered, not a bitch! If she has many friends; male and/or female, she is friendly, not a bitch! Is she does not let anyone step on her feet, she is strong-willed at practising self-care, not a bitch! If she knows how to get what she wants from those around her, she is charming, not a bitch! If she speaks her mind, she is outspoken, not a bitch! If she has many boyfriends, you are the bitch as you should be minding your own business! Except if she really is one, in her malicious way of dealing with people…But get your facts straight first!

 

That is probably why so many describe real men to be feminists…A feminist will never ever criticize other people on the basis of such stupid bias…Feminism is quite simply about all genders having equal rights and opportunities…So if a woman is doing all of the above and a man is still respecting her for the woman that she is and for the qualities that she espouses, then bingo! You might after all be a real man! And our society needs more of you around, for us women to feel like we belong and that we are not prejudiced for basically everything that we do…

 

 

Disclaimer: No harm intended for anyone, especially our dear male counterparts, bearing in mind that not all are same and no disrespect intended to our Sanskrit epics from which I have learnt quite a lot...